The Story Behind Raeni 🌙

You should not have to be this tired this young.

Hey, you.

I see the version of you that holds the whole house together. The one everybody assumes is fine because you've never given them a reason to ask.

I was you. I didn't have language for any of it. I just knew I was tired in a way I wasn't supposed to be yet.

I wasn't looking for a diagnosis. I just needed somewhere to put the truth.

So I wrote. 🖤

I'd sit somewhere quiet in New Orleans and pour the stuff I couldn't say out loud onto the page. The page never called me dramatic. It just held me.

That was the only place I knew how to be honest.

I was the one watching everybody. The one keeping the secrets. The one who got told she was “mature for her age” like it was a compliment instead of a thing I never got to choose.

So I got really good at saying I'm fine.

I wasn't.

Raeni came from that part of me. ✨

She's not a made-up girl with a pretty name. She's the version of me — and maybe the version of you — who had to grow up too early and kept pretending she was okay.

I built her because I needed her. I'm giving her to you because I think you might too.

This journal is for anyone who needs somewhere to stop pretending.

For the one who’s tired of being the responsible one. For the one watching everybody while nobody checks on them. For the one who keeps saying “I’m fine” because explaining would take too long. I see you. I am you.

Here's the part nobody tells you: just putting it on the page — even one honest line — is where it starts to shift. Not all at once. Just slowly.

You don't have to pretend here. 🌊

Read what calls you. Leave a whisper when you need the truth. Write the private prompt. Step into the Shadow Krewe when you need somewhere nobody at home knows about.

Welcome in.

— Qian 💜